All your hazardous materials are belong to me....

In a twist which surely spells doom for the majority of the planet, guess who is the newest certified hazardous waste worker? Thats right someone saw fit to give me some actual responsibility and stuck me in a training course so I could have a little piece of paper which proves I know not to eat yellow snow (or green mud, or drink orange water).

Dont know your Methyl Ethyl Ketone from your Trichloroethylene (both will kill you) well Im the man to call. Do you constantly confuse 29 CFR 1910.120 and 29 CFR 1910.133??? Well we've all made THAT mistake a time or two. Do you think PPM is a weapon used on Babylon 5 (thats PPC) or mg/kg is your bosses brain/body mass ratio (well it probably is)? Ohh the interesting things you learn in HAZMAT Training.

One thing I did learn is that the guys walking around in those spacesuits are probably not paid enough. Those things completely suck. Its hot, its heavy and its hard as hell to move. The worst part of it all was the cut down time I had to play Gears of War all week.

Remember boys and girls the next time you have a hazardous material spill call me at 1-888-U-ALL-DIE.